Monday, 13 December 2021

My Picky Eater

It's always astonishing to me how picky an eater my cat is. This, after all, is the feline that feeds on woodlice, spiders and mice and laps filthy water out of an old container in the garden.

Present her with a bowl of perfectly good cat food and she will look at me as if I am trying to feed her rat poison. Sometimes it's a brand and flavour of food she has been happily tucking into for years. All of a sudden Miss Picky decides she doesn't like it any more.

I can put fresh food in her bowl and she will eat half of it. However, 10 minutes later the remaining half is no longer palatable, apparently. Cue another look that could curdle milk.

Which reminds me. Milk. She happily drank small saucers of milk (the one that's specifically for cats) for the first seven years of her life. Now she won't touch it. Present her with some milk and cue a look that could instantly freeze boiling water.

However... settle down with some expensive Brie you bought at the farmers' market and there she is at your side batting your arm with her paw as her big amber eyes plead with you. "Just a little nibble. I'd love a little taste. Mmmm, you know cheese is my favourite thing EVER."

She has definite "rules" from which she will not deviate - until she decides to change the rules.

Present rules include never eating any food that's on special offer (how does she KNOW?) even if it's her favourite brand and flavour; having a clean bowl for every meal; never eating the same flavour of food for more than two meals in a row; and demanding to share your fresh food like fish (although she doesn't like fish-flavoured proprietary cat food - go figure), prawns and chicken.

Yet I know that, heaven forbid, if she were forced to fend for herself in the wild she would be happily feral within a fortnight.

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Tuesday, 7 December 2021

Cats As Superior Beings

All cat owners are aware of the superior air exhibited by their pets. They seem to relish their independence but generously allow us to be their closest companions. Dogs learn tricks but cats are practically untrainable and they have managed to convince us that it's not because they are less intelligent but because they really can't be bothered. 
They manipulate us with their wiles and entrance us - when they feel like it - with their quirky behaviour and so wrap us around their little paws. Some of the most talented and clever people in the world have recognised the fact that cats are superior and sometimes supercilious beings. I'll let them tell  you all about it in their own words.

Poet Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)

"When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but
because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even." 

Comedian and actor Bill Dana (1924-2017)

"I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not.
Mine had me trained in two days." 

Actor Kandyse McClure b.1980

"I read that when cats are cuddling and kneading you, and you think it's cute, 
they're really just checking your vitals for weak spots."

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle b.1948

"I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them cats."

Writer Cleveland Amory 1917-1998

"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows,
cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind."

Poet Pam Brown b.1948

"Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that
will cause most inconvenience."

Writer Neil Gaiman b.1960

"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."

Writer Mark Twain 1835-1910

“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. 
That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve 
the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”

Writer of horror and science fiction  H. P. Lovecraft 1890-1937

"The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible
for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it."

Writer and film-maker Megan Boyle b.1985

"My cat is always looking at me like I am forgetting something
crucial and he depends on it."

Blogger and writer Will Wiles b.1978

"Nothing snubs quite like a cat. What evolutionary purpose did it serve, 
this inherent disdain, this artful blanking?"

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Monday, 29 November 2021

Emergency! The Cat's Eaten My Bacon

Words failed me when I read this story. A man from Yorkshire in the UK dialled 999 (the same as 911 in the USA) to ask the police to arrest his cat for eating his bacon.

I know most carnivores are partial to a nice piece of sizzling bacon and it would be very annoying if your cat stole it - but getting puss arrested is a bit extreme!

The emergency services operator  began with the standard:  "What's your emergency?"

He replied: " girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon."

The very patient but puzzled operator asked him to repeat his problem and then asked him what he would like the police to do.

He told her: "I want to press charges."

The call handler then asked him whether he wanted the police to arrest the girlfriend or the cat!

The man replied: "Both."

She told him: "Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. And we don't arrest cats."

He started to protest insisting it was his girlfriend's fault for allowing the cat to do it.

The call handler firmly told him it was not a 999 emergency and the call came to an end.

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Monday, 22 November 2021

Bad Hair Day

Something for a bit of a giggle today! We've all been there - some days our hair refuses to be tamed and we look like we've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Our feline friends are not immune to this phenomenon - although they tend to look a lot cuter than we do when their coiffure is less than purrfect. Here are a few pictures to cheer you up if you are having a bad day.

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Monday, 8 November 2021

Film Maker's Feline Surprise

Paris Zarcilla's first Tweet about finding the cat and kittens

Two years ago London film-maker Paris Zarcilla was shocked to find an unknown cat and four kittens under his bed. And, as cats do, these five strangers soon wriggled their way into his heart.

As he tweeted over the following days it was possible to track the way his life was changing.

He told his followers he had fallen asleep downstairs, and only noticed the new family after going upstairs to get a jumper. He found the jumper  - but it was not quite in the same condition as it was as momma cat had given birth on it.

He put up posters all around the area in an effort to track down the owner and later had momma cat checked for a chip, but she had none. So, there he was, in the for the long haul! 

The subject of cat hair (we cat owners know all about that!) was soon broached. One follower tweeted:  "As per Cat Protocol the hair will only become apparent once you’ve left the house without a sticky roller. @ParisZarcilla, buy a sticky roller." To which he replied: " Hair will likely stay on. Trying to assimilate as new Cat dad."

He was obviously smitten by being a new dad. "Paternal instincts kicking in. Overwhelmed with feels. Don't know how to deal," he tweeted. And later, "Cancelling all my plans. Crawling under the bed to spend the rest of the day with my four new children."

His life started to change.  "Just cancelled my order for comics and single malt whiskey. Now buying cat food. This is fatherhood yo! I'm here for this," he tweeted.

Before establishing that momma cat was either a stray or abandoned, Paris was preparing himself for potential heartbreak.

"I've been meditating on this wonderful but bizarre situation and I've arrived at a place where I'm ready to accept whatever the outcome is. I can only love and care for them now in this moment. I will give them everything they need until they need me no more. All will be good."

On a serious note, Paris said he had some mental health issues and the new arrivals had really helped him.

“My life is changing in real time,” he adds. “This stony heart of mine is being chipped at with every mew. I think I love them. Like, actually love them with my heart. Ugh. I can’t help it. I’m going to give them everything they need until they need me no more.”

So, two years down the line, did this story have a happy ending. Look at this picture, and make up your own mind!

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Tuesday, 2 November 2021

Tongue Out Tuesday

It's Tongue Out Tuesday so what could be better than lots of pictures of cats with their tongues out!

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Monday, 1 November 2021

Change A Cat's Life For Ever

If you are wondering whether or not to rescue a cat, either because you find one in trouble or you are visiting a rescue centre, don't think twice. Just do it. Here are some cats that are heart-wrenchingly grateful that a human stepped in to give them a better life.

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